When Did The News Become Netflix!?

Imagine if your parents told you the 5 worst things about you everyday, you’d probably not think that highly of yourself.. Well imagine how the world feels bless him!

I hate the news, genuinely. There’s not many things I hate in life (ok ambivalent Monopoly players, that’s a given) but seriously these newsy guys are  getting on my  freaking teets! I try my best not to watch it now, usually I just catch the end, you know when the sports reader warns you to look away at the footie results (I never look away! FU system!). Anyway if there’s a Nucleur bomb on it’s way i’m sure someone will keep me in the loop. Probably by a Whats App group chat labeled ‘Nookzzaaaaa!’

Jezza: Oi oi top lads, Russia dropped the cheeky one innit. Poor bantz 😦

Big Gaz: ffs..

The news should not be listed under ‘Factual’ it should be under ‘Entertainment’. It’s motive is no longer to tell the most accurate news,  it’s to match the Keeping up with Kardashian’s figures. I suppose my main beef is that it doesn’t represent a true condition of the world. They fool us into embracing a doomsday spirit, an’everything is bad and it’s getting worse mindset.

Before all them shouty types come at me, I don’t want to be ignorant of the fact that we live in a broken world and there’s LOTS of difficult, complex, heartbreaking problems right now, that are in desperate need of solutions. Imagine if Churchill had an ‘EVERYTHING IS  F***ING DOOMED!’ mindset against the Nazis though. This post would of probably been written in German! (Yes it still would of probably been funny, would of probably changed a few cultural references here and there, the Whats App bit would of had to go, or maybe I could of worked it in? I like to think I could of.. I dunno i’ll guess we’ll never know…) Thanks Churchill babes!!

The sad thing is some people get consumed by news. They binge watch it and gossip with their friends about the latest episodes. ‘Oh my gosh you up to the Isis bit yet!’ ‘Don’t you just hate Putin!!’ ‘Honey why did you watch the Trump campaign without me!? We’re out of sync now! ‘

Imagine how much less scared of terrorism would be if every attack wasn’t piledrived into our heads 24/7. How much less scared of flying? Natural disasters? I mean Isis have the best PR in the world right now. Anybody who wants to get into the marketing biz,  do an unpaid internship for Isis!

I suppose my message is simply this. Don’t let the evil minority happenings of this world become bigger than the good majority happenings..

Anyway rant over..

CNN and chill?